Mom Hack: Before you fly alone with your baby do a dry run carrying all your gear. If you are bringing your stroller, practice taking it apart and putting it in its bag yourself.
I loved being pregnant!!
Which I think is a rare phenomenon, or at least it is rare to shout it from the rooftops (that would be insensitive - some pregnancies are torture). I'm not saying that I was happy every minute of it, or that I didn't have side effects, because I did; I was nauseous. I woke up every hour to go to the bathroom. I gained a ton of weight. I had a sense of smell like that was my superhero power (the cooking in the apartment beside ours made me gag and my husband's cologne, yech). I had crazy hot flashes. I was hormonal, and the list goes on. But for the most part, I was just a happy pregnant person because people are just so happy for you!
Oh, and I also wanted a baby so badly. Side note, I had a miscarriage the year prior (a story for another day), so every day that the baby kept growing, I was overjoyed. I wanted to tell everyone I ran into that I was preggers. I think I started pushing my stomach out in hopes that people would notice. Ok, well, this was at that weird stage around five months, where you are showing but not enough for people, and I wanted to make sure people knew I was pregnant and didn't just have a food baby.
In the end, it was amazing how supportive and excited everyone was. I loved the attention, and I loved that random strangers would talk to me. I loved that women would gush and say congratulations. I loved that people would ask me all the regular questions;
When are you due?
Do you know if its a boy or a girl?
Do you want a boy or a girl?
I even loved all the unsolicited pregnancy and parenting advice. I felt like the lead character in a musical, happy AF, and dancing around the stage. I am not pregnant anymore, and thankfully everything went smoothly, and I am now a Mom.
I still have the same feelings; I want to tell everyone, "She is here!" I want to show her off because I am so happy and proud. I am that Mom who wants to show you pictures of their kid, who wants everyone to gush over my baby, and say congratulations, or melt and say "awe, she's so cute." Which a lot of people do, and then in my head I'm like, "I KNOW, SHE IS AMAZING, RIGHT!"
But, not everyone loves babies or kids in general. Puppies get way more happy gushy glances than babies. In the hierarchy, puppies win. Don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of people that hold the door for me or when they see Adeline, ask me what her name is, or how old she is. But then some people don't. People who, if we are out eating dinner and she starts to fuss, glance over, and give me a look. A look that says;
Did you really bring your baby to this restaurant/coffeeshop/store?
Isn't she a bit too young to be out?
Are you breastfeeding in public?
Shouldn't you stay home and raise your kids in the confines of your own home?
For example, I flew with Adeline to Atlanta for the first time and without my husband, and it was tough. On my flight to Atlanta, there were a lot of people that were NOT Team Baby. I could hear the groans and the whispers; I hope they aren't sitting beside me.
I didn't get that "OMG, cute baby" gush, but I did get some annoyed looks as I tried to juggle the baby bag, my purse, my jacket, and everything else while carrying Adeline and praying that she wasn't about to start screaming. I also asked the lady at the gate if there were any empty seats beside each other, and she said no, the flight was full with lots of keep it moving attitude. It wasn't full! She could have been more compassionate. An hour into the trip I went to change Adeline's diaper and saw two seats beside each other that were empty. I sat down with her so fast and just left all my bags at the other seat. I told the lady sitting in the Aisle, hi, I am coming to sit beside you. I didn't give her a choice, and she was not exactly thrilled either.
Total jerks.
On my flight back to San Jose, I meet some amazing people who were so helpful, and it made everything right with humanity! They helped carry my stroller and car seat down to the plane door; they offered to hold Adeline; they told me whatever help I needed to let them know. They were both in first class and even waited for me to deplane even-though they were the first people off the plane, they stayed and wanted to make sure I was ok. I was so grateful.
It is these people that I love. The best advice from other moms that I have met is to forget the non-baby people. I realize that being a Mom means ignoring the Dicks and ignoring the side glances and judgment. It means always blocking out the haters and focusing the love on your kid. I also am realizing that I don't need anyone to gush (I still like it, of course), but I love my kid more enough to cover everyone in the world. I want to make sure that she knows this every day, that she becomes secure in knowing that I am always on Team Baby.
xoxo
Tamara
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